sudden reawakening black belt and bare minimum six foreign languages flood my adolescent mind
“you’re a wizard, jessi” or some other such revelation for which my heart ached
then prescribed as a desire to be special
now I ponder if it was really craving explanation some reason for feeling like a puzzle piece that had wandered into the wrong box
some hope that one day a discerning eye would pluck me up, out of the sea of otherwise complimentary colors
“aha! there you are – i’ve been looking for you! now we can finally finish this one!”
the feeling of elation, of holding my breath until i would be carefully placed into position experience the satisfaction of my quirks and curves and grooves heralded in by the others around me
becoming indiscernible from afar
at last revealing an image of a world in which i could be certain i belonged
