sudden reawakening
black belt and bare minimum six foreign languages
flood my adolescent mind
“you’re a wizard, jessi”
or some other such revelation
for which my heart ached
then prescribed as a desire to be special
now I ponder if it was really craving explanation
some reason for feeling like a puzzle piece that
had wandered into the wrong box
some hope that one day a discerning eye would
pluck me up, out of the sea of otherwise complimentary colors
“aha! there you are – i’ve been looking for you!
now we can finally finish this one!”
the feeling of elation,
of holding my breath until
i would be carefully placed into position
experience the satisfaction of my quirks
and curves
and grooves
heralded in by the others around me
becoming indiscernible from afar
at last revealing an
image of a world in which i could be certain
i belonged
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