darkness seeps out
from underneath my front door
to remind me that, if not I,
nobody is home
unlock it as I'm walking
flip the light switch before I breathe
inhaling unchanged fragrance
nothing but my same old place
i think that's why I keep it messy
so it's harder to recall
where i put that jacket
and if i turned the TV off
find excitement in remembering
that i made brownies the night before
dread the cleaning i've been avoiding
but loving the feeling when i'm done
put that logic into my healing,
spring clean my heart and
sweep the floors
run a finger down the spine
of a good book, knowing
some day that name will be my own
it's not hard to love,
this time alone.
just like me,
I never was.
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